Alone

I guess lots of things happening. My trip with my friend at Pangkor Island. The struggle of one to overcome challenges, that include me. Facing obstacles and reliving past memories. It seems all happen in just a swift of time. I'm speechless, lack of something to share but at the same time, the urge to type is there. Wanting me to type freely in my spare time.

I'm taking a break today. Requested leave to ease up things. Clean up my clothes and buying groceries. All things that necessary. While at the same time, finding my soulmates. I have the effort to find it at one of the apps in my mobile phones but it seems that I'm a little bit choosy. 

Yesterday my friend show to me a photo of his worker, a very young fella. Wears appropriate clothes and a kind and helpful person. The first thing that I asked was her photo.

He said that today, he would send her photo to me. Yesterday, he secretly snap her photo from far away, just to help me. Fulfill my request. It was blurred and I had to zoom in to focus on her face.

I didn't expect anything. Just be friends with her. Knowing her. Other than that, my life was just normal. A bit lonely.

Finding soulmate isn't easy.

You know that you have lack of something. Weakness that only she knows. And she complete you. The search to find that person who will fill the gap, the loneliness is still on until now. Sometimes I even question myself. 'Am I ready?'

Even so if I am ready, my financial aren't. I didn't have savings for weddings. I have a planning but it still in mist. It wasn't that I could not forget my previous relationships but those experiences taught me a lot on trusting someone or having someone to trust me.

It is 'give-and-take' situation. And maybe I am choosy in finding the one for me. I don't know what future holds me. Am I married this year? Will I be having troubles? Are they anyone who adore me secretly.

I might put my emotion first in all this brainstorming.

Sometimes, I really need a break. Clear my mind and try to push myself forward. Mom and dad are by side. Always supported me. I am really grateful for them. I really do.

So, this wasn't a confession, right? It was just a simple post. About my current being. Not sad or anything. Just maybe I wasn't bonded enough with Him.

Yeah. I think it is.

Assalamualaikum.

Non-Stop Work And Courses!!

Dah masuk bulan Mac. Semakin hari semakin malas. Hahaha.. Update blog tue beria sangat nak buat. Tapi itulah, me'raja'kan kemalasan. Sampai bila tak siap. So, aku push diri aku yang malas nie untuk update diri aku dalam bulan nie.

Bulan Mac yang indah nan permai ini. Jumaat yer semua hari ini, 17 Mac 2017 bersamaan.. kejap.. 18 Jamadil Akhir 1438H. Esok (Sabtu dan Ahad) aku kerja, maknanya aku tak dapat nak hadir ke majlis kahwin seorang lagi kawan sekolah menengah aku kat Ipoh.

Aku rasa sedih sebab komitmen kerja punya pasal, aku tak dapat nak hadir. Seperti biasa, dah aku pun tak dapat hadir ke walimah kawan, aku tak mengharapkan mereka hadir. Kalau mereka datang walimah aku, maka itu adalah anugerah dari Allah. Sebabnya aku seorang kawan dan sahabat yang teruk. Ish ish ish..

Baru-baru nie aku pergi Simposium Wound Care for AMO di Kuantan yang berlangsung di Zenith Hotel. Kuantan, merupakan tempat yang punya banyak kenangan aku, dari aku tinggal masa kecil dulu sampai darjah 1, hingga ke zaman aku posting kat Hospital Tengku Ampuan Afzan dan sekarang untuk conference wound care sekali dengansambutan hari PPP peringkat Kebangsaan.

So, nampak di sana aku terlampau sibuk dengan kerja sampai tiada masa untuk diri. Tapi sebelum tue pun aku balik kampung kejap, jenguk mak dan ayah di sana bersama dengan adik-adik. Luangkan masa berharga aku dengan diorang. Nie pun in-charged aku dah tanya, cuti sekolah nie xder nak request cuti ke? Herm.. betul jugak apa bos aku cakap. Mungkin lepas aku kerja Sabtu dengan Ahad nie aku balik Kelantan. Or maybe next week. Who knows. Tengok jadual kerja macam mana.

And for the past month and this week, aku banyak sakit. Paling teruk of course sinusitis yang memaksaku datang ke dental, dan tak pasal-pasal dapat appointment dental untuk filling gigi aku yang berlobang. Nice. Sebab aku sakit kawasan pipi kiri dan bengkak yang agak jelas bagi aku yang gemuk nie. Hahaha.. sakit yang aku memang jarang kena. Tapi bila dah sekali kena sememangnya padu beb sakit dia. Hanya mampu sabar walaupun mulut tue dah memang bising mengadu sana sini. Hahaha..

Banyak kursus demi kursus. Semalam pun ada kursus tentang Borang Saringan Status Kesihatan pesakit serta ESSK sekali. Sememangnya pening sebab borang BSSK saja aku kena spend masa dengan pesakit dalam 10-20 minit untuk tanya setiap sakit. Sekarang nak kena isi dalam data komputer lak. Ada program yang boleh auto make

reten bulanan. Benda tue elok tapi it may take time to understand. Kalau macam aku takpe sebab aku muda.

Aku kesian yang berusia, yang xder kemahiran IT. Susah juga mereka nak catch-up. So, aku ajar yang mana aku faham slow-slow. Kira macam crash course la untuk kitorang. Dia kata kursus dia ajar tue at least kena dalam dua hari. Tapi dia dah cut sampai 3 jam. Itu pun tak habis lagi. Hahaha.. Aku dah naik serabut dah bila jam semalam tengok 5.05 pm. Kepala dah fikir balik dah. Balik lak hujan. Lenjun lak. Habis basah uniform. Hahaha..

So, that's about it guys. Aku tak sempat nak share pengalaman aku pergi ke Bali. Maybe next time. Gambar dan detail tue ada cuma aku again.. MALAS nak buat. Hahaha..
So, see you next time fellas... Thanks for reading..

Assalamualaikum..